Obituary of Robert Tang-Wai

A Remembrance of Dr. Robert Tang-Wai, FRCPC Consultant Neurologist 1940 ~ 2015 TANG-WAI: Dr. Tang-Wai was born in 1940 in Mauritius, the youngest of four children. In 1960, he went to study medicine in Ireland, briefly returning in 1966 to marry Eileen. This marriage was a true love match, rare at a time when arranged marriages were the norm, and their partnership lasted until his death on Sunday, December 27, 2015, after nearly 50 years of shared life. In January 1970, with a young son in tow and daughter soon to be born, Robert and Eileen immigrated to Saskatoon, where they were warmly received by their first real Prairie friends: Bill and Marion McVicar. The elderly, childless McVicars were like parents to Robert and Eileen and grandparents to their young children, a bond that lasted a lifetime. Robert faced many personal challenges in Saskatoon as in those years the medical community was not always welcoming of foreign-trained physicians. With seemingly overwhelming obstacles in his path, he would despair and wonder if he should quit, but Eileen recognized his passion for neurology and her steady love and unwavering belief in him helped them both through the rough times. Moving to Ottawa to continue his studies was a pivotal career turn for Robert. In Ottawa, he found his lifelong friend and mentor, neurologist Dr. Edward Atack, whose kindness and professionalism made a lasting impression on Robert. In 1976, the family moved from Ottawa to Brandon, where he opened his private practice. Dr. Tang-Wai earned his Fellowship of the Royal College of Physicians in Canada in Neurology in May of 1978, and faithfully served Brandon and surrounding communities as their first rural neurologist for the last 37 years. Living so far from his family in Mauritius, it was the warmth of friendships formed here that made Brandon home for the Tang-Wais. Dr. Lawrence Groves was among the first of Brandon's physicians to extend his welcome, and attorney Bob Harrison, his lovely wife Cindy, and their two precious daughters Kaylie and Selena, were Robert's Brandon family. In Bob Harrison, Robert had finally found the brother and friend he had always yearned for growing up. Don Weir, with whom he worked for over a quarter-century at the hospital, was affectionately known to Robert as his "little brother", since Don was too old to be his son. These were people who earned his trust and warmest affection. The other family that kept Robert busy were his patients. All who worked alongside Dr. Tang-Wai saw the care he provided: he was committed to do his best for each and every patient. He saw thousands of patients over his career, and many were in his care for decades. Many times, patients and their families became lifelong friends forged out of respect and appreciation not only for the care that he provided, but for the kindness which he returned so generously to a family at a time of loss. Robert loved small towns, and over the years turned down many offers to work in larger cities, along with the greater prestige accompanying those positions. He recognized small town Canada was underserved but deserving of world class care, and he was committed to providing such care in a small town setting and fought to transform Brandon into a world class facility rivaling that of larger centers. Despite his own past experiences with prejudice, Robert truly believed the world functioned as a meritocracy: excellence could never be ignored. He believed that doing one's best was required in all things, and applied this principle to his work and his personal life. He knew the best way to learn a skill was to practice it, and thus provided his children great personal freedom to make their own decisions, good and bad, a complete opposite of the way he himself had been raised. Once a year, Dr. Robert Tang-Wai, eminent neurologist, simply became Dad as they went on their annual vacation. He hated to fly, so most of those vacations were spent on the road, travelling throughout the US and Canada, getting to know the children, and having fun exploring new places together. Many happy memories were made on those trips. Despite his fearsome reputation for not suffering fools, Robert had a strong sense of humour and loved playing practical jokes on family, friends, and colleagues. He was never without a joke or hilarious story to share. Robert and Eileen were in North Dakota on a brief vacation after Christmas, when he suddenly started to feel unwell. He was diagnosed with an abdominal aneurysm that required immediate emergency surgery in Grand Forks. Despite the best efforts of the medical team, he did not survive. Robert's death is mourned by his wife, Eileen; his sons Robert and Peter, information technology specialists in Toronto; his daughter Karen, a patent attorney in the United States; and by his youngest son, Dr. Raymond Tang-Wai FRCPC, a psychiatrist in Calgary; his son-in-law Michael; his precious grandchildren, Michael, Jenna, and John; as well as by his numerous friends and colleagues in the medical community who valued his input and sought his expertise; and by his many patients, who trusted Dr. Tang-Wai to help and heal them in their time of need. In Brandon, Dr. Robert Tang-Wai found his place in the world and his true purpose in life: serving others. He was devoted to his community and to his beloved wife, children, and grandchildren. His happy place was walking the halls in the hospital, doing his rounds, and at any hour of the day or night, consulting with his colleagues, checking up on his patients, and chit-chatting with the nurses and doctors. He could never really retire: so long as he could still be useful, he was determined to be so, and to always give his best. "The real way to get happiness is by giving out happiness to other people. Try and leave this world a little better than you found it and when your turn comes to die, you can die happy in feeling that at any rate you have not wasted your time but have done your best." -Robert Baden-Powell The Tang-Wai family wishes to thank all of our family and friends for your love and support at this time.